need help from veterans, who do I go to for guaranteed ranking results?

If a seller provides guaranteed results, expect one of the following:

1) A ridiculously high price point or a high monthly fee,
2) A tuaround time far beyond what it should be, or
3) Low quality crap that they'll discontinue their "guarantee" or find some workaround where they are not liable.

QUALITY, QUANTITY, SPEED. PICK TWO.